Don't mention the war

Recently I've had a black eye. This was not the first black eye I've had, but definitely the easiest. I am a little clumsy, and the mixture of girlie shoes, alcohol and me has created a history of silly falls. Black eyes aren't such a good look for a girl, as people tend to assume that

1. you're in an abusive relationship
2. you've been mugged lately
3. you would appreciate some advice about the nature of abusive relationships
4. you're the 'wrong' sort, and they distance/cower a little bit from you *this happens as you get older, and don't look so butter-won't-melt.
   

All in all, it's not the best. Cause strangely, unless people know you, they don't ask. Even when they do know you, unless they know you well, they don't ask. They will stare pointedly at your face. After having told most the office that i faceplanted on a friend's bike tire, the last person to ask got the 'happened during rough sex with the bf' story. I like to think that it's a testimony to the high esteem he holds me in, that it took him 2 days to ask if that was true.

The first major black eye i got after fainting face first in a crowded cafe in the middle of the afternoon. That one resulted in stitches to the chin, split lip and 2 black eyes. Not good. I was about 25, and house sitting in a strange suburb. I have never been so consistently humiliated in my life than that week of complete strangers asking me what happened. Most of the humiliation was at the thought, that THEY could think that I would have let some guy do this to me, and NOT tell. The implication that I was hiding abuse. Now that was humiliating.

To be fair, 10years later I just keep staring straight back at people, whereas then with a bruised face, black eyes, and a chin full of stitches, I'd ducked the gaze. And avoidance suggests guilt, complicity, and fear.